So, it’s been some time since I’ve written anything consistently. There was a time when I used to publish online thoughts regularly, all the way back in high school before I even knew what “blogging” even meant and way before the dawn of LiveJournal. I believe I even still have copies of these blogs on ye olde 3.5″ floppy disk somewhere…
And there have been many false starts since. Every time I would come up with some great new name, and my Man would go off and create me a new WordPress and domain and I’d set up a sparkly new theme and then… nothing. I might post a few entries but then would eventually abandon it as a lost cause. There were many excuses, though these only mattered to myself – noone was paying attention as it were – and this was my main problem, the feeling of being creatively irrelevant. What did I have to say? Who was I trying to capture? Did that even matter? What would be my theme? Did I even have to have a theme to my writing? In a world where thousands of blogs are probably created every day (and perhaps abandoned too) and where social media could bring a person success and fame if only they ticked the right boxes, I felt like for me to even consider blogging again, I’d better have something worthwhile to say. The pressure to create something that mattered was ultimately stifling and way too exhausting to bother with. Which is a shame.
I remember the blogs and websites I maintained being one of my creative outlets, a way for me to work on my web design skills and break down my thoughts in a constructive way. I didn’t especially care about an audience apart from a few friends who I shared the blog with. I felt these entries formed my “online persona” as it were (back when I thought I had one anyway) and I remembered a sense of catharsis and freedom in this online creativity but then came along a full time job and Facebook… and it all stopped.
And, so here I am. Trying to look forward. I’m not 100% sure what I want from this blog yet (don’t think that matters? kinda…maybe… i don’t know…) but I’m hopeful that this time, this time, will be a last time and that I use this to try and maintain a creative life. I have a lot of ideas kicking around, and this blog might feel a bit erratic at times, but I feel that it doesn’t matter what I write about, as long as I write, as long as I create. I realise as I get older that I’ve pushed aside my creative self for a long time, for whatever reason, and with that I’ve lost a part of me that inspired me and fueled my ambitions. So as corny as it sounds, I want to create more so that I can hopefully live the best life I possibly can.
Anyway, some things to expect…
- My favourites – places and discoveries in my hometown of Sydney, Australia; most likely food and the like.
- My addictions – makeup, shopping, clothing, eating…
- My thoughts on life in general today – anxiety, insomnia, inspirations, and more.
So that’s what I’m hoping for, as a starting point anyway, and maybe hopefully there’s some people out in this ether that might find it interesting too.
xA.